Well what to say...

Not a massive list of things up update on really parents are away atm so got the house to myself.

Feeling more and more alone and unsure of what do do with myself lately, hopefully will change but yep in a bit of a doldrums emotionally I guess.

On the work front well no really news on that yet again just keep going I guess, I've applied for the intern ship I'm interested in again but no real hope just well hope =/.

I'm seriously considering moving this blog now or to be precise I will be moveing and probably to wordpress however I'm not sure what to call the new one and will take some getting used to, and set up.

I've been reading quite a bit lately and have recently finished one rather strange but interesting book set in our solersystem about 200 years after the last human has died, however the robots we made have just kept on going. I wont go into and more detail than that I'm likely to massacre the general story unless I just copy the back of the book word for word. But yes its By Charles Stross and is called Saturn's Children.

Humm I probably should take it back the the library soon think it might be overdue already =P

I've also just started a series of books "Quantum Gravity" or should I say restarted by Justina Robson and am quite enjoying them will post more on that probably when I finish book two.

so yep that's about it, oh and I got to play with Fire on Thursday, we built a small fire at scouts, its nice just being able to sit there and watch your well stacked piles of wood burn and smolder..... =)

I'll just leave you all with a nice piece of music from a soundtrack I rather like.
Till next time.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v25MaXwopNI

dam things posting weird

On a slightly brighter note than the last entry I have some videos I'd like to share.
The first is a future vision of eve and tbh is good even on its own, makes me want them to make a movie in this style tbh definatly worth seeing.

EVE: A Future Vision

Ok and for those more interested in Eve here's some shiny s for you, new nebular and turrets coming to the game soon.

New Nebulae

New Turrets

And for those who are in for more madness here's the intro film for the CCP Chess Boxing championship.

EVE Fanfest Chessboxing: Brain Vs. Pain Prematch


enjoy. =)

On a slightly brighter note than the last entry I have some videos I'd like to share.
The first is a future vision of eve and tbh is good even on its own, makes me want them to make a movie in this style tbh definatly worth seeing.

EVE: A Future Vision

Ok and for those more interested in Eve here's some shiny s for you, new nebular and turrets coming to the game soon.

New Nebulae

New Turrets

And for those who are in for more madness here's the intro film for the CCP Chess Boxing championship.

EVE Fanfest Chessboxing: Brain Vs. Pain Prematch


enjoy. =)

On a slightly brighter note than the last entry I have some videos I'd like to share.
The first is a future vision of eve and tbh is good even on its own, makes me want them to make a movie in this style tbh definatly worth seeing.

EVE: A Future Vision

Ok and for those more interested in Eve here's some shiny s for you, new nebular and turrets coming to the game soon.

New Nebulae

New Turrets

And for those who are in for more madness here's the intro film for the CCP Chess Boxing championship.

EVE Fanfest Chessboxing: Brain Vs. Pain Prematch


enjoy. =)

On a brighter note from my last entry I thought I'd share these videos with you, the Future Vision one is incredible and would love to see a movie or something like this one day.

Future Vision

and just another one for general eve fans and anyone who likes shinys here's the turrets and nebulae coming soon to the game.

New Turrets

New Nebulaes

oh and for the completely mad here's the intro to the CCP chess boxing championship.

EVE Fanfest Chessboxing: Brain Vs. Pain Prematch

Enjoy =)

Late but then not much happens in my life.

So probably against all forms of wisdom I decided to go to sabercon, I even volunteered to GM a game. needless to say I was late getting there due to being apprehensive about  being there, and meeting people or to be exact Nic. Though I was worried about other Leicester people including mics partner Ash as tbh after everything I guess I'm not well loved down there, least of all by Nic and ash in general thoughts.

Tbh I general fears where proved true I had an awkward meeting with nic at the desk after being depressed by the surroundings (same dam parking space as the last time I was there what 4 years ago.) and the afternoon wasn't the best I felt and outsider and not part of things tbh.

I do have to admit though despite the disappointing turnout for the game it and Lots and lots of fun the best game I've played in a long while.... and tbh the last one I've played since then. =(

As for the pub afterward well I got to talk to nic more there and to sum it up shes still beautiful as ever though it may just be me but just looking at her face she seems more warn... no Fragile than she used to be *shrugs* I don't know.

As for the impression I gave we'll I'd say I probably came across as a fat idiot who after wasting his time at uni doesn't have a qualification to his name, and who still holds a wholly unwanted crush on her. Yep think that about sums it up, even if all these last years hadn't happened and Nic was single I'm certainly not someone she would like to be with anyway really. 

I'm just a useless nobody in society with no prospects or hope of getting anywhere near where I'd like to be in life....... all I got out of uni was really a massive pile of debt, a dead-end life with no prospects, a broken heart, disappointment for my parents and large bouts of depression.

It makes you question weather its even worth trying to carry on really.

*sighs*


it was a very good game though at the Con, just wish the good bits in my life didn't keep ending so quickly and leaving me empty.
I'm glad I went but yep... things... =/

So the last few days have been quite fun tbh, I'm still a bit worried about my car after the small crash I had two weeks ago in the snow but i think in part its just in my mind.

Anyway I went to the last vampire of this semester on tuseday, not much happened but I'm looking forward to next year, however I stayed for some of krap later on and got draged off by samara and tj to play a new game she'd got, was good fun even if me and tj where horribly tortured and defeated =P and give it was 4 am by then I stayed over to sleep.

Wednesday came and I woke not that stiff but just a tad cold =P and so I went forth to do battle with the keel administration (heaven help me) and against all the odds I cam out victorious with a new keele card!! ..... well ok I explained my problem of needing access to the library for my resits, they checked the computer and found (to my awe) the uni had thought ahead and put me in the system to get a new card before I even asked for one. so all was good there.

I then had a quiet afternoon handing in keys and getting stuff I needed, was a bit say but well.

Then late afternoon I headed to he KPA  and found the rest of kura already inhabiting the top floor (tbh I think we've taken it over entirely these days others some up and see us then run. (Geeks rule KO).

Had tea there and a good chat and well, I felt the best I have in a long while these guys are mad, different in so many ways  but well there family in a way. =)

By this point I'd been completely convinced to go to tavern quest and so we headed out (well after I got myself stuck in a bathroom, but that's another story)
Its scary how many of us there are these days think we had about 30 there at least and dear gods did we drink and role dice, though sadly despite our valiant drinking efforts we rolled a 1 and where all killed by a tap dancing Balrog just as we where leaving Lindsy.

Thanks to refreshing drinks at Horward though we where revived (though we probably deserved death given our torture of bohemian rhapsody and other tuned on the walk over) and this continued until the end where we finally won out and things came to a close.

I have to admit though I'm surprised at how well "Kura" works as a war chant / replacement for "Chug,chug,chug chug."

and Now I'm home and back with the revision ... well and the new eve expansion. =)

Right then that's all for now, and hopefully more rambling soon.


Today's Hatred of Java value = 6.3

The one truth about life is not  friend's, family or wealth. its not even love....

The truth about life and living it is .... Endings.



Its a depressing view I know and you could say conversely its all about beginnings but for me no, not that I don't fight against them but its something that we all face.... things end weather we want hem to or not. Nothing is eternal.

SO yep like the rest of this blog I'm off on a depressing note again.  but yep I'm back and hoping to actually keep with this for once, I've no idea who;s visiting this or if anyone is but I feel I should get my thoughts out and in the open without burdening others.

Btw The title and I guess the opening statement for this blog is all because of Katanagatari an anime which I've just finishes watching, and i have to say its one of those that ride high above the rest I highly recommend it.... at first it may not seen so but the collimation of the whole experience and journey makes you think like so fue things do these days, if your looking for a happy end well you might find it or you might not it depends how you see things.

But yep you can find the 12 episodes torrents here at: http://mazuisubs.com


but yep enough of that for now, I'm intending to given this blog another go and will probably be changing the look of it or possibly moving it some point soon.

Anyway I'd best go I've got Java to fight with now and a fleet opp later in the evening (hopefully I won't get blown up)


ps I am so dead on Tuesday trying to steak the sheriff has repercussions oh god help us poor foolish vampires lol



pps while I've restarting the blog and changing things one thing that will not be changing is my horrendous spelling and punctuation sorry =P

Hi all once again.

So whats been happening from the last entry round Christmas...

Well sadly Gran did pass away it did look like things might be improving for a bit but sadly it wasn't the case.
On the + side of that though at least Mum was able to be at her bedside in her last hours as she passed in her sleep. Really that's sad in so many ways but I think it helped mum deal with the loss better as she sadly wasn't there when her brother passed away a few years ago.

So yep that's generally messed us all up rather a bit and where still sorting out all the organizing and paperwork that comes after someone dies, but it is probably for the best given the condition she was in.

I also have new respect for my sister in her being able to play gran off at the funeral on the oboe. I'm honestly not sure if I'd of been able to do that given the circumstances, but it did sound lovely and its what gran would of wanted.


And on the mention of music we move onto the next item on the list.... Gigs
well to be more exact gig but yep I got asked to play for a gig in Darby (sp) the Saturday past, sure it wasn't that flashy but I did get paid £80 for it and it was good experience, I'm hopeing to get more offers after this one, my teacher seems like he might pass a few more my way.

And so on to GB ermmm not really much to say it more relates to the computer science (yes I know its not a real science) I've been doing lately, not sure weather I'm going to be able to finish it all fully but I'm going to try my best.

oh and also I probably need to get another Tb drive for my comp as I've filled about 600 Gb of it already.

Actually that's made me wonder should I name My computer? I just tend to think of her and a her atm and that's it, names can be dangerous but maybe I should give her a name... and suggestions? (oh and not Caroline or Elanore ad those are the names of my F Horn and Nat Horn respectively.)


Oh and heres something to dwell on people do you remember those days without Mobiles or the Net, when you could pass the time without even contemplating turning on a computer, and if you wanted to play solitaire you would get out a pack of cards rather than open the start menu.
Just something to think on, have been looking back a but lately.


Today's blog was brought to you by the letter G.

Cya all (fly safe)

o/


p.s. There's a rather nasty virus going round that basically slags your computers ability to start up at all, so keep your virus protection up to date all.